College Football Roundup For Your Reading/Work-Avoidance Pleasure



Ten things that jumped out at me from the weekend. Not included is a roster of my self-realization that we have to play well to beat MAC teams now. Or that watching the Titans play the Ravens yesterday in the immediate aftermath of watching the Vols play Northern Illinois and the DVR of Vandy-Auburn, makes me feel like touchdowns are suddenly as rare as pink dolphins.

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Posted by Clay Travis at 11:35 AM

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Travis has become enamored of several objects, phrases or events which he frequenly references in the column. Among the most frequent:

'Bama Bangs- a term coined by Travis to refer to southern men's hairstyles that feature prominent bangs for no apparent reason. Brodie Croyle and John Parker Wilson are oft-cited violators of 'Bama Bangs rules.
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There is no college ball more passionate and competitive than football in the Southeastern Conference, where seven of the twelve schools boast stadiums bigger than any in the NFL and 6.5 million fans hit the road every year to hoot and holler their teams to victory.
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The newly favored man is not really a man at all, but a hairless, effeminate, germ-fearing, non-meat-eating, exfoliating, wristband-wearing woman of the worst order. We as men are told that we must embrace the sacred feminine in ourselves, even if it doesn't actually exist, and become the very quintessence of woman, plus penises. This situation is untenable. This trend must stop.
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Clay Travis is the only former student manager in the history of college athletics to marry an NFL cheerleader. He managed to pull this off despite an irrational affinity for the television shows Dawson's Creek and My Super Sweet 16. While being raised in Nashville, Tenn., Travis developed a healthy obsession with college sports and Alyssa Milano. As a teenager his greatest accomplishment was taking a doo-rag wearing Luke Duke (balling as Tom Wopat) to the hole at the Nashville YMCA.

In the midst of a stellar legal career during which he specialized in rewarding the unjust and punishing the oppressed, Travis began writing for CBS Sports's SPiN section in September 2005...
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